Write a letter to an agent telling her how wonderful you are.
If you only knew how lucky you were that I am contacting you, you would count your lucky stars twice. Since you don’t know, I’ll tell you.
I have already sent my work to over 300 agents before you, and received replies from about 50. I trust you are not so rude to ignore my letter.
I am willing to write a book every three years and send it to you so you can edit and revise to your heart’s content, and then get it published, because every book I write will be a number one bestseller. My critique group says so, and I believe them.
In exchange, you can list my name on your website so you can draw other writers, but I don’t want to give any commission since you’ll make so much money on referrals you won’t need my money.
If you can fly here from New York next week, we can meet on Wednesday at eleven. For a half hour. I’ve got a busy day planned.
How would you start your letter?